MEN ONLY: 26 Characteristics of a NAIROBI WOMAN
1. Ukimkosea u apologise. Akikukosea u still apologise..nkt!!
2. She hangs out with her galfriends kwa uptown joints ameitisha juice glass moja ya 100 anakunywa since 12pm hadi 6 pm aki Facebook
3. She calls u stingy juu hautoboki but wait till umuombe ikus wololo
4. She changes her Facebook profile picture kama ngotha. Really desperate for likes and comments?
5. Hawezi ku call and if u dont call, its like World war 3
6. Kujifanya na accent zao za uwongo...she usually talks like, "imargiyn we endad to thar parry then kidogo afrawads..we tokad and went to.." (suddenly..mwizi aki snatch hand bag) her accent automatically gramatically disappears..she goes like, "woooi nisaindieni..mbagi yangu imeibwo..muisi muisi!!!
7. You buy her credit n she NEVER texts u let alone call. You have to take heart bro. Jesus is really coming soon
8. She never misses those Mexican Soap Operas, which are staged and she calls Kenyan men unromantic. Furthermore, she treats a relationship as a source of income. Really, who is more UNROMANTIC??
9. Unamsikianga tu aki diss magari kama Pro Box na kwao hata baiskeli hakuna
10. Akinyeshewa tao maji inafika chini ikiwa na colours mob. Blue, Green, Red, Purple, Violet, Orange, White, Black, Indigo etc
11. Her weave can weigh upto 30kg hata simu ya china kando
12. You take her out and she orders 5plates of food. Chicken, soup, rice, some cabbages and chips. Na hamalizangi...
2. She hangs out with her galfriends kwa uptown joints ameitisha juice glass moja ya 100 anakunywa since 12pm hadi 6 pm aki Facebook
3. She calls u stingy juu hautoboki but wait till umuombe ikus wololo
4. She changes her Facebook profile picture kama ngotha. Really desperate for likes and comments?
5. Hawezi ku call and if u dont call, its like World war 3
6. Kujifanya na accent zao za uwongo...she usually talks like, "imargiyn we endad to thar parry then kidogo afrawads..we tokad and went to.." (suddenly..mwizi aki snatch hand bag) her accent automatically gramatically disappears..she goes like, "woooi nisaindieni..mbagi yangu imeibwo..muisi muisi!!!
7. You buy her credit n she NEVER texts u let alone call. You have to take heart bro. Jesus is really coming soon
8. She never misses those Mexican Soap Operas, which are staged and she calls Kenyan men unromantic. Furthermore, she treats a relationship as a source of income. Really, who is more UNROMANTIC??
9. Unamsikianga tu aki diss magari kama Pro Box na kwao hata baiskeli hakuna
10. Akinyeshewa tao maji inafika chini ikiwa na colours mob. Blue, Green, Red, Purple, Violet, Orange, White, Black, Indigo etc
11. Her weave can weigh upto 30kg hata simu ya china kando
12. You take her out and she orders 5plates of food. Chicken, soup, rice, some cabbages and chips. Na hamalizangi...
13. Her eye shadow overshadows her eyes.
14. She carries Nitalala Wapi (vey big handbag)
15. She studied in Sri lanka but came back with an American accent.
16. She speaks Kiswanglish for instance: “I kulad lunch then pandad mat and shukad town. I met kina Joan and we tembelead Sally. Aki we ongead mob storo till jioni then we endad kwa pub and kunywad till che. Jeez, somebody shoot me.’’
17. She meets her girlfriends and jumps while screaming
18. She's in high heels, pierced the whole body.
19. She wants to hug everyone.
20. She wears a micro mini and still tries to pull it down to her knees
21. Her favorite heels have a worn out sole but she won't get off them!
22. She's in leggings and bare backs on a cold day
23. She pretends not to know you when she's with her pals in town.
24. Wakes up very early as if she's going to work only to go to a salon for muchene or an M-pesa Agent
25. She wears shades in the dark
26 Wears winter boots in the scorching sun
14. She carries Nitalala Wapi (vey big handbag)
15. She studied in Sri lanka but came back with an American accent.
16. She speaks Kiswanglish for instance: “I kulad lunch then pandad mat and shukad town. I met kina Joan and we tembelead Sally. Aki we ongead mob storo till jioni then we endad kwa pub and kunywad till che. Jeez, somebody shoot me.’’
17. She meets her girlfriends and jumps while screaming
18. She's in high heels, pierced the whole body.
19. She wants to hug everyone.
20. She wears a micro mini and still tries to pull it down to her knees
21. Her favorite heels have a worn out sole but she won't get off them!
22. She's in leggings and bare backs on a cold day
23. She pretends not to know you when she's with her pals in town.
24. Wakes up very early as if she's going to work only to go to a salon for muchene or an M-pesa Agent
25. She wears shades in the dark
26 Wears winter boots in the scorching sun
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