KENYAN MEN BEWARE: UNMASKING The UGANDAN WOMAN

KENYAN MEN BEWARE: UNMASKING The UGANDAN WOMAN

Uganda is fast becoming a metropolitan country. Kampala is full of people from various countries thanks to Makerere university and now that East African companies are flooding the market, professionals are now also flocking the city. The interesting facet is that of all the East African residents in Kampala, its only the Kenyan men who chase Ugandan women; Tanzanians stick to their own as the Rwandese and Burundi . This is most fascinating as it does say something about the Kenyan women, as even Ugandan men shun them after enjoying them in their first year of university.

There is no doubt that our Ugandan women are fascinating as even white men can never get enough of them but a lot of hidden dangers lay with these women than many men, especially Kenyan, only find out when it’s too late. I heard a Kenyan guy complaining over the weekend and thought it best to warn others who might be tempted by our voluptuous women.

Big Butt Ain’t Nothing But Big Stress

The first point of attraction to our women is their enormously shaped behind. Kenyan men are not used to such women so they instantly go wild upon seeing our women strutting around with balloons attached to their ends…please note that it’s not as a result of fat but genetic features inscribed particularly to our women. The curiosity and fascination soon leads to temptation then experimentation and end in vexation because the bigger the butt the bigger the drama my brother.

Mattress Killers

It is no secret that Ugandan women squirt upon climax. This has always fascinated Kenyan men and the glee upon discovering this unique feature is often evident. At first it is intriguing and they want to try more and more but after a while they realize the repercussions of this ‘gift’ when they have to keep replacing mattresses. After sex, one has to strip the bed f the sheets then place the mattress out to dry- this is often a telltale sign of a good romp- but one can only do this for so long and good mattresses don’t come cheap. So unless you buy a liner to protect your mattress, which is also not cheap, your enjoyment of squirting shall become a very expensive delight.

Easy To Get Hard To Get Away From

It is very easy to nail a Ugandan chick, especially if she thinks you have money. She will surrender her goodies to extract goodies from you and she will stop at nothing to do so. You will get ‘please call me’ texts every five minutes and when those expire missed calls every two minutes. Even at 1am she will give you missed calls…they never airtime somehow. If you have a wife, you are finished my brother as they shall demand to know who keeps calling you or texting at odd hours. If she knows where you live she will come daily and ‘move in’ with you…so just remember the easier to land the harder to go.

Dead Relatives

Our women love money. They need to dress well, smell well and buy new hairs for themselves…none of this is cheap. Because they have pride and don’t want to seem like beggars, they find other ways, creative ways, to extract money from men- especially foreign men who don’t know them. It starts with the death of an uncle and the imperative need to travel to the village at a time where money is ‘scarce’. Then if the bastard falls for it more relatives follow and more and more. Of course one cannot challenge them as you shall seem insensitive and of course she will give you good sex hours before breaking the news but once you find out you were played for a fool its too late because you’ll only discover it when she plays the same trick on some other guy using the same newly resurrected relatives. 

Feathers Of Your Bird

Now our women have a rule “If you want to be with me you must impress my friends first”, so even if you meet her on her own and you ask her for her number…the day you want to take her out she will come with not one but four friends. This often shocks Kenyan men as they expect one person to enter the car (you must pick up a Ugandan chick not expect her to make her way there) but sees five silhouettes approaching him. We learnt this about them and developed a way to beat their game…of course I shall share:

1. Call her and tell her you have something urgent to talk about that is upsetting you

2. Do not mention the word food or drinks

3. When she enters your car make sure she doesn’t have her phone

4. Drive away as fast as you can to the club or restaurant

This is the only way to make sure her pals don’t come to leech on your time and

 money…otherwise you shall be left with a hefty bill and not even a kiss goodnight.

So before you jump on a Ugandan chick best be sure that you are ready for the consequences that follow.